Sunday, May 3, 2009

Brandon'sTwisted Nursery Rhymes: The Jiggerbee

Here is the second in my new Twisted Nursery Rhymes series.


Have you ever seen a jiggerbee
Such a wonderful thing
It has purple spots
ten little legs
And four yellow wings

It sings when it flies
It waltzes too
I hear they have one at the Central Park zoo
It’s eyes are all golden
It’s tail grape and puce
It laughs instead of buzzes
It’s snout’s long and fuzzy

It huffs and puffs
As it circles the air
It lives in a nest that it builds in your hair
It wiggles and tickles
It darts all about
The jiggerbee loves to fly all around

But don’t let a jiggerbee nest in your hair
It’s not quite as sweet as it might appear
It has yellow wings
Golden eyes too
But it has a red stinger
That it will never show you
The stinger is long
The stinger is sharp
The stinger has poison
And mean little barbs
The jiggerbee hums
And waltzes too
But it does these things
Just to fool you

If you let the jiggerbee
Build a nest in your hair
I’m afraid the jiggerbee
Will lay eggs in your ear
It will stick its red stinger
Right down in your head
And once it does that
You will be terribly dead
You will twitch and shake
You will writhe and moan
And lament that the jiggerbee made your hair its home
Your eyes will pop out
Your veins all explode
And little jiggerbees will gnaw on your bones

So beware of the jiggerbee
You have been warned
Never ever let the jiggerbee
Make your hair its home


  1. scares me where this could possibly be coming from.
    lordy, lordy.

  2. I am afraid to look too deeply into the source...of course when I am writing these things they seem so dang easy...which makes me think that anyone could write them...because the alternative is that another person would never think of things like this...which is even more frightening!


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