I was born with an abundance of faith.
In a world, in a life, in a childhood, in a journey that would have destroyed, and rightfully so, the faith of some...the fact that I have survived, thrived, and been surrounded by the greatest gifts of love any man could receive and more than most will ever receive has proven the presence of God/Community/Love/Faith in my life.
I have always been afraid of calm. Stability has terrified me. Peace has been my kryptonite. Joy was for someone else. Happiness was temporary. Crisis was comofrtable. Pain was deserved. Misery was my comfort blanket.
No more. No more. No more.
I repeat.
No more.
Right now, I am sitting here, in my apartment on a Saturday afternoon. Lena Horne is playing. She is singing Stormy Weather and If You Believe.
"If you believe, within your heart, you'll know. No one can change the path that you must go."
I have walked a path. My sweet Lord Jesus, have I walked a path. The earliest paving stones were laid down for me. They twisted my feet and bowed my knees, and they had me walk bowlegged into my early adulthood...and it has taken a long as time to straighten them out. I still walk from side to side now and again. Sometimes I have a limp, and sometimes I trip over my own feet, but damn if I haven't taken Thor's Hammer to the street in front of me, shattered the crooked ways and grabbed the twisted path and shaken it until it lays straight...ish.
Hot damn Miss Lena could sing the panties off the Virgin Mary.
In the Litany of the Saints of the Common Man, Saint Lenam, Our Lady of Peace and Fierceness, has sometimes sung me through some ugly places.
Today she is singing me a different song.
"Believe what you feel, and know you are right because the time will come around when you'll say it's yours. Believe that you can go home. Believe you can float on air!"
Float? I am flying. I am flying. I am flying through this world, and I have been lifted up and hung on the wind by all ya'll. By the teachers that encouraged me all throughout out school, by my family--especially my Grandpa Carey and my Honey Bun, by a community of friends that stretches from Norway to Los Angeles---from Troll Baby who once told me that it was ok for me to be small (maybe no other words, short of I Love You, have meant more to me in my entire life)...to David Berube who taught me that I deserved to be loved....to Keith who has walked many of the paths I have walked and saw past the masks....to all of the amazing human beings that have been angels in my life. Angels, if you believe, walk amongst us each and every day.
And I want to single out Mr. Kamal Fizazi without whom I wouldn't be sitting here typing this. I love you my friend.
I am walking the right road for me now...and I will not wander from its path. The Universe reminds me each and every day that I am doing justice by myself...and when you do justice by yourself...you are a light for justice in the world.
I have much gratitude and this note is just to say thank you to you all for believing in me.
Ashe.
Showing posts with label Best Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Best Friends. Show all posts
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The Court of My Opinion
In reality, my opinion is worth about as much as a pound of pigs knuckles.
But that has never stopped me from sharing it.
This evening, I had my first encounter with the New York court system. No, no, Perez Hilton is still alive and breathing and being stupid somewhere in the world. As much as I fantasize about putting his dangly bits in my Cuisinart and pushing puree, it is highly unlikely that I will be the one to do him in. My money is on his parents.
No, tonight I showed up for moral support for my best friend who is being sued by his ex boyfriend/my ex friend, for a stupid amount of money from when they were together. That story is not mine to tell, so I shan't tell it. But let me just say that this small claims is so stupid and so dumb and so frivolous that it makes me want to vote Republican and start screaming about tort reform at a Town Hall meeting on health care.
Instead, I am going to talk about our experience tonight.
First of all, let me say that there are some people in the world that need to grow the hell up. Now, I understand in a messy divorce people that were close to a couple will take sides now and again, particularly if the couple had been together for say 7 years or so. But, my best friend's ex brought a woman with him with whom he works to the courthouse today. Now, I have met this woman exactly once. We got along just peachily. Tonight, as I was going to get a drink of water from the fountain, she stared me down and gave me stank eye as if I am the one that killed Jean Benet Ramsey.
Bitch please.
This white girl with a chip on her shoulder better recognize that only the grace of God, and my naturally sweet disposition kept her from getting read like the Bible at a Southern Baptist tent meeting. I didn't break off my friendship with my best friend's ex. He didn't get an invitation to a cocktail party I threw last winter, shortly after the break up, at which my best friend and his current boyfriend were to be. For this sin, I was declared toxic and in the darkness, and he shunned me like an Amish that bought an electric can opener. Old girl, his side kick in misery, had the nerve to toss shade at me with both hands. I smiled and laughed and engaged my joy. But the next time I see her, she had better take off her earrings and Vaseline up her face, cuz it's on like Donkey Kong up in this borough.
But she didn't have anything on the damn court clerk.
So this evening, my bestie had the option of going directly to arbitration with court appointed attorneys but without the right to appeal. He had the right to demand a trial before a judge with the right to appeal. And he had the opportunity to enter a counter claim.
Considering the level of assininess of his ex, I thoroughly encouraged him to register a call of "by the court," and take this shit to trial. If his ex wants to play Beau coup the Fool up in this piece, it is entirely within my BFF's rights to make sure that he exercises his entire range of personal liberties and protects his name and credit as best he can.
So, after entering a claim of by the court, the clerk calls my bestie and his exie off to the side. He attempts to arm twist and persuade the parties to agree to arbitration aka a decision that would not take into consideration the real facts of the situation and would probably end with my bro owing money to this poop deck heathen that he doesn't really owe. So, before making a final decision, my pal came back to consult with me and his man. We encouraged him to move forward with a court date. And lord have mercy, you would have thought we had talked about the Court Clerk's mama, cuz this big old Paula Deen deep fried chitterlings eatin' bowl of lard and Bisquick got all swollen up (or more swollen up). shook his head, and declared..."You gave him BAD advice. I mean it bad advice."
Ummm excuse me. It was bad advice only in that the court is overburdened and your job has nothing to do with encouraging an individual to make an informed choice about exercising their Constitutional rights and everything to do with making sure Judge Judy gets out in time to make her mani/pedi.
I love how everyone that works in the criminal justice system and civil justice system act as if the rest of us are morons with no understanding of right/wrong or how the system works. And court clerks are the worst...they are power hungry, power wielding little vipers with an associates degree, love handles, bad skin, and in desperate need of a fuck that doesn't involve a hand, a power tool, or an exchange of currency.
Actually, let me be specific...the clerk tonight was one of those people. I am sure there are perfectly lovely and sweet and justice minded court clerks in the world. I also believe in Santa Claus, fairies, ghosts, and the Resurrection of Christ. But I ain't seen any of them (except a ghost...I did see a ghost once).
In the end, though my opinion may count for about as much as an opposition vote in an Iranian national election, I have convened the court of my opinion, and in the case of Court Clerk v. Stupidity, I find the clerk guilty as charged.
But that has never stopped me from sharing it.
This evening, I had my first encounter with the New York court system. No, no, Perez Hilton is still alive and breathing and being stupid somewhere in the world. As much as I fantasize about putting his dangly bits in my Cuisinart and pushing puree, it is highly unlikely that I will be the one to do him in. My money is on his parents.
No, tonight I showed up for moral support for my best friend who is being sued by his ex boyfriend/my ex friend, for a stupid amount of money from when they were together. That story is not mine to tell, so I shan't tell it. But let me just say that this small claims is so stupid and so dumb and so frivolous that it makes me want to vote Republican and start screaming about tort reform at a Town Hall meeting on health care.
Instead, I am going to talk about our experience tonight.
First of all, let me say that there are some people in the world that need to grow the hell up. Now, I understand in a messy divorce people that were close to a couple will take sides now and again, particularly if the couple had been together for say 7 years or so. But, my best friend's ex brought a woman with him with whom he works to the courthouse today. Now, I have met this woman exactly once. We got along just peachily. Tonight, as I was going to get a drink of water from the fountain, she stared me down and gave me stank eye as if I am the one that killed Jean Benet Ramsey.
Bitch please.
This white girl with a chip on her shoulder better recognize that only the grace of God, and my naturally sweet disposition kept her from getting read like the Bible at a Southern Baptist tent meeting. I didn't break off my friendship with my best friend's ex. He didn't get an invitation to a cocktail party I threw last winter, shortly after the break up, at which my best friend and his current boyfriend were to be. For this sin, I was declared toxic and in the darkness, and he shunned me like an Amish that bought an electric can opener. Old girl, his side kick in misery, had the nerve to toss shade at me with both hands. I smiled and laughed and engaged my joy. But the next time I see her, she had better take off her earrings and Vaseline up her face, cuz it's on like Donkey Kong up in this borough.
But she didn't have anything on the damn court clerk.
So this evening, my bestie had the option of going directly to arbitration with court appointed attorneys but without the right to appeal. He had the right to demand a trial before a judge with the right to appeal. And he had the opportunity to enter a counter claim.
Considering the level of assininess of his ex, I thoroughly encouraged him to register a call of "by the court," and take this shit to trial. If his ex wants to play Beau coup the Fool up in this piece, it is entirely within my BFF's rights to make sure that he exercises his entire range of personal liberties and protects his name and credit as best he can.
So, after entering a claim of by the court, the clerk calls my bestie and his exie off to the side. He attempts to arm twist and persuade the parties to agree to arbitration aka a decision that would not take into consideration the real facts of the situation and would probably end with my bro owing money to this poop deck heathen that he doesn't really owe. So, before making a final decision, my pal came back to consult with me and his man. We encouraged him to move forward with a court date. And lord have mercy, you would have thought we had talked about the Court Clerk's mama, cuz this big old Paula Deen deep fried chitterlings eatin' bowl of lard and Bisquick got all swollen up (or more swollen up). shook his head, and declared..."You gave him BAD advice. I mean it bad advice."
Ummm excuse me. It was bad advice only in that the court is overburdened and your job has nothing to do with encouraging an individual to make an informed choice about exercising their Constitutional rights and everything to do with making sure Judge Judy gets out in time to make her mani/pedi.
I love how everyone that works in the criminal justice system and civil justice system act as if the rest of us are morons with no understanding of right/wrong or how the system works. And court clerks are the worst...they are power hungry, power wielding little vipers with an associates degree, love handles, bad skin, and in desperate need of a fuck that doesn't involve a hand, a power tool, or an exchange of currency.
Actually, let me be specific...the clerk tonight was one of those people. I am sure there are perfectly lovely and sweet and justice minded court clerks in the world. I also believe in Santa Claus, fairies, ghosts, and the Resurrection of Christ. But I ain't seen any of them (except a ghost...I did see a ghost once).
In the end, though my opinion may count for about as much as an opposition vote in an Iranian national election, I have convened the court of my opinion, and in the case of Court Clerk v. Stupidity, I find the clerk guilty as charged.
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