Mr. Lacy Campos goes to Washington

So, I am on the Bolt Bus on my way to Washington, DC. The world is full of wonders in that I am traveling at 60+ miles per hour and have free wireless internet on the bus. These new fangled inventions and technological progress never cease to amaze me. Hey glory.

I am actually on my way to Washington, DC to do a three week federal lobbying fellowship with Consumer's Union. I am deeply looking forward to this experience, as it will be both personally and professionally exciting. Public policy, in general, gives me a woody. The ability to not only craft it but the point of sale moment is what I thrive on. My recently released article framing DTV as a social justice issue is one example of how you take a particular policy viewpoint and then translate it into language and imagery that allows it to resonate with the population in general. Public Policy is meaningless if it can not be popularized and translated so that the young and the old can understand it with equal ease.

I also had the honor, last week, of talking about my article on the syndicated radio program, CounterSpin. Check out www.fair.org and click on CounterSpin to listen to a podcast of the broadcast.

I started this fellowship trip by flying into NYC. Between Mrs. Harris passing last week, work issues, and relationship issues, I needed to see and spend time with and make love to my partner. I did those things, and I felt at peace. There was no drama...even when I had to spend time alone with David's ex-boyfriend. Tildon the Wonder Dog broke into his creepy yet sweet doggie grin when I walked into the room. As a matter of fact, he wedged himself against me for most of the time I was there at night. And he definitely gave me the reproachful, "you are a bad Step-Dad," eyes when I wheeled my suitcase out today.

I love my partner. I am going to see him in four days, yet the weight of our separation and the short time spans together (this staccato visits) are both necessary and torturous. Necessary in that I get to breathe in the scent of him that drives me insane. There is something soft and visceral about his skin. I love it. It is torturous because as soon as I get centered with him again, we have to jet out. I know in the next few months that this will be resolved as I am moving in with him. But between now and then I must own the suckage with the grace.

No More David in the City...

Leaving David is about as pleasurable as having my nuts stepped on by the Wicked Witch in steel toed stiletto heels. I was crying before I left the door, and then, like an idiot buzzed the buzzer and ran up the stairs---pretending to need to pee—so I could see him again for a moment. Of course, by ringing the buzzer at 4am, I sent Tildon (my step-dog) into a tizzy, and forced David to open his eyes for the first time since we were forced from the bed this morning by Super Shuttle—which required a 3:45am pick up time for my 7am flight. Ain’t that a bitch.

Poor David. This morning he was attempting to give me some wise 44 year old inspirational talk about being good to myself mentally and physically, loving myself, etc. etc. blah blah blah. Everything he had to say was lovely. Except, at that particular moment, I wanted to punch him in the teeth just a little bit. At that moment, I just wanted to hear that he was going to be possibly a fraction as miserable as I am projecting to be the first month of the first quarter until I see him again. I am no GoldmanSachs analyst, but the emotional forecast for the next few days, due to a temporary separation of assets, is looking poor. The long-term dividends will pay off warmly, but the short-term losses are tough to bear. And Mr. Berube’s public statement that I should find a hot fuck buddy and get some good boom boom almost caused a hostile take over this morning. I mean. Of course I will find a hot fuck buddy should I desire it. But, my true love needs to work on his timing. No stand up comedian is he.

Now, I am in the Super Shuttle. Some stupid Asian couple behind me apparently doesn’t understand that at 4:26am no one wants to hear them chatter with one another. As a matter of fact, they both may earn a punch to the teeth before we get to La Guardia. I have already radioed ahead to Makeeba, one of my darling roommates, to have the $2 buck chuck ready. After only three hours of sleep, my eyes are on fire. And the Asians just keep flipping their lips. They are about to get a free round trip ticket on Foot-In-The-Ass Airlines.

I love you David. But you know that. I will be fine and dandy tomorrow. But today, I get to be a little bit on the miserable side having to leave my partner 3000 miles behind. You’re teeth are safe for now ;-). See you in Denver. I love you more than egg noodles and roasted duck from Mee Noodle Shop. You are my home.

Friday, Saturday, Cryday

So, I have been doing my damndest to not thing about Sunday morning. RIght now I am feeling a little bit overwhelmed trying to articulate how I feel when I am physically with David. David is a constant presence in my life whether or not we are manifestly with one another. But, when we are together something begins sounding inside me. Have you ever had the joy of being in a small town, early in the morning, when an old church bell rings. The sound is so beautiful. You know it is metal being hammered, but it sounds like a crystal humming. something pure, clean, and joyous. David and I have our problems. We fight now and again as do any couple....many of our interactions are multiplied and intensified because we don't live in close proximity so we end up processing at a hyper speed when we are. But the essentialness of our relationship remains undiminished and, indeed, strengthens and reinforces the basic goodness in each of us, so that, when we are not together, I do not feel less or incomplete but I feel a reduced potential. Together, our potential to be better, live better, love better, move through the world better is exponentially increased. When David is nearby, I am fearless about things that have long scared the hell out of me.

I have made a commitment to being as present in the moment as possible. Sunday is not right now. Sunday may never actually come. I was reading something on Science.com that said if a Planet-ending meteor were to hit the earth we wouldn't know about its presence, unless we were very lucky, until moments before it hit and ended life on Earth. My luck would be that the meteor would hit while I was 30,000 feet above the Earth. While everyone else would die without pain instantly, my ass would have the torture of flying too and fro until the plane ran out of gas and then we would crash and die cussing out God. I digress. I still have roughly 48 hours with David. I am going to see tons of great friends tonight. I am going to get to see David in his extra cute short shorts that he wears to the gym. I will most likely have some great sex between now and Sunday (maybe even with David...I joke...I joke...teeeheee), but the fact remains that leaving him is becoming something akin to proving the existence of God. I believe it can be done, but one day, I will acknowledge, that it can't...and on that day...my home will be wherever life carries both of us.