Friday, May 1, 2009

Brandon's Twisted Nursery Rhymes: Shoelaces

So I am starting a new project called Twisted Nursery Rhymes inspired by Shockheaded Peter and the Tiger Lillies.

Check out the first:


Tommy was Terrible everyone knew
No matter what Mother said
he would not tie his shoes
He loved how the strings would wiggle when he ran
He loved how they looped and they dipped and they fanned
Out to the sides when he jumped in the air
His Mother would warn him
Tell him to take care
That one day he would fall
And break his young neck
But Tommy was Terrible and didn’t listen one wit

He climbed over rocks
And shimmied up trees
He pulled his shoe laces right up to his knees
He tied them in loops and he tied them in knots
but bows on his feet
Were definitely out
He scoffed at his poor Mother
Said, “Oh Mother please, just look at how glorious my laces are free!”
Mother was worried
Oh my she would fret
knowing that one day
Tommy would break his poor neck
She begged and she pleaded
She ordered and pledged
To buy him chocolates and presents if he’d
Just tie those darn laces
Just lace them right up
But Tommy was Terrible
And would not listen to Mom

On one fine morning
So sunny and bright
Tommy’s Mommy tried again
But it all came to naught
Tommy ran into the yard
He climbed in his tree
He swung from the branches
Laughing with glee
Til lunch time he frolicked
His laces undone
When his sandwich was ready
His Mom called him home
Tommy raced across the yard
But before reaching the door
He tripped on his laces
Like never before
He tumbled and twirled
He bounced and he jounced
He flipped and he skipped
He was thoroughly trounced
He screamed and he pleaded
full of regret
he let out one last holler
then snap went his neck
he landed upside down
with his face right side up
poor Tommy was dead
because he didn’t lace up.


  1. Hey Brandon, thanks-that's great. I'm now going to pull out the Grimm's Fairy Tales for some weekend reading!

  2. Thanks! I love Grimm's stories...they are so so so gruesome. Stay tuned for some more ;-)

  3. i am so printing this out and telling it to max when he gets older!

  4. OMG Marietta! You are the best Mom ever...and poor Max is going to be traumatized.


Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings, and insights. And thank you for reading!