Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Poop Stopping Lasagna

I can't admit to having come up with the name for the lasagna myself. The award for that goes to my sister Meta. But, whatever its name, this completely vegetarian lasagna is damn delicious. If you are on Weight Watchers, forget it...a single piece of this is about 492 points.

Keep your treadmill handy folks. This lasagna is a once a year sort of deal.

Spinach and Mushroom Lasagna

1lb lasagna noodles
2lbs mozzarella cheese
1lb Colby jack cheese
1lb natural cheddar cheese
1lb ricotta cheese made with skim milk
2 jars of your favorite spaghetti sauce (I used Spicy Tomato Basil from Paul Newman)
1 package button mushrooms
5-6 cups fresh spinach
1/2 cup fresh basil
1/3 cup fresh oregano
3 cloves garlic
1/3 cup red onion
2 small jalapenos
1 cup red wine

First things first. Dice up the garlic, oregano, basil, red onion and jalapenos. Thinly slice the button mushrooms. Wash and dice the spinach. Place it all in a large pot and pour the sauce into the pan. Add some water to the sauce jars in order to get all of the sauce out of the jar. Pour it into the sauce pan. Next, pour in the red wine. With a large spoon stir the sauce together. Turn it on a medium heat and let it simmer. Stir regularly to keep the contents from sticking to the bottom of the pan. Let the sauce simmer for an hour then set aside.

While the noodles are cooking cut up your cheese. Cut the cheese from the blocks in medium thick square strips. Set them aside.

In another pot cook your lasagna noodles. Cook them until they are just short of al dente. Make sure to add a little olive oil to the water to help the noodles keep from sticking. When the noodles are done cooking, run them under cold water and set them aside.

Now it's time to assemble the lasagna. First heat your oven to 375 degrees. Next in a large, long baking pan, lay down a layer of noodles no more than two noodles thick across the bottom of the pan. Next, pour a layer of sauce across the noodles. We will be doing three layers of sauce, so make sure the noodles are covered but not drowned. Next, lay down a layer of cheese, alternate the various types of cheese. On top of the hard cheese, smooth a layer of ricotta cheese.

Repeat the step with the next layer.

Finally, the last layer should end with a layer of hard cheese but without the ricotta.

Place the pan in the oven and cook for 45 minutes to an hour. If you'd like for the last minute or so turn on the broiler and brown the cheese on top.

Remove from the oven and prepare for a saucy cheesy explosion.

I posted this recipe here as it costs too much to make for it to qualify for The Fairy Chef recipe roster. The cheese will set you back about $25. The total cost to make this meatless lasagna is about $35. I also have a meat version that will blow your damn mind, but it costs almost $50 to make and uses three types of meat: spicy Italian sausage, Italian sausage and ground beef. If you want to make that version, add a step. Brown the meat before you make the sauce and add it into the sauce.

This recipe will EASILY feed six people to capacity.


  1. While this sounds delicious, vegetarians are pussies. Tight, thin pussies...but pussies all the same.

    This would be worth the construction on its own, but I'd never be able to pass up slipping a little meat into my pot.

    And for crying out loud, who taught you to put olive oil into the noodle pot? Hunt this person down and slap them with Julia Child's hump! (She has left the bell tower and joined Jesus in the sky, so it'll be okay.) Adding oil doesn't prevent pasta from sticking. It does however prevent sauce from sticking to pasta. Nix that practice and take up stirring the pasta during the first three minutes of boiling and all will be well.

    And lastly, how is it that you and David are able to eat the way that you do without looking like an entry in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade? You are both evil.

  2. I made this for David, and he only eats the meat that swims around in the water. So, I had to make it without the flesh of the land beasts, though I do love them my own self.

    And thank you, Frau Julia, for the pasta lesson. I shall remember it always.

    LOL! We only eat this way on occasion, and I take my behind to the gym almost every dang day. If I didn't eat this way, I would most likely be a contender for Mr. No Body Fat of the Universe...but I like to eats!

  3. Gunilla just made me this utterly delicious veggie lasagna, with veggie meat and veggie sausage and mini-portabella mushrooms and cheddar cheese (don't know the full details). OMG. I ate half the pan the first night, and the other half is only half gone, three meals later! :)

    ... I'd probably be ten pounds lighter, myself, if G didn't put such delicious fare on my plate so often. :)


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