Crack...I mean...Katt Williams

The Lacys have some adventures in this world. Let me tell you. When God was handing out "Crazy Ass Life Experiences" juju at the beginning of time, some primordial Lacy took two hand fulls and then put some in a fanny pack for the road. And whenever two or more Lacys get together, there is bound to be a surprise cosmic event, a freak storm, or sighting of a celebrity making a crack purchase.

I swear to God.

Currently, I am in the Atlanta for the impending nuptials of one Paulina Hernandez, old school organizing buddy and partner in crime of mine who also happens to be one half of the fierce femme duo that runs Southerners on New Ground (SONG). I am staying with my fierce little sister Jasmine who moved to the ATL last year with another sister of mine who is off in Kuwait making out with camels and stuff. Last night, I went out with Jas and her crew of mega-fine Atlanta black women (with a couple of half-Koreans in the group to keep it kimchee spicy), to this bourgie black club called Opera, so called because it was, once upon a time, a gorgeous Opera house.

Now, sis and I got to the club around 12:30am, and we had to wait for the rest of her crew. There is a whole etiquette in the straight, hip, fierce black girl world of which I was unaware. For example, you never want to be seen waiting on the street. In fact, we tried to wait in the parking ramp, but the ATL police are REAL serious at night, and we were told to get back in the car or go down to the club. So, we moseyed down to the club but we stayed well back from the line and were actually behind a gyro truck and some scrub brush. The girls were done up to Jesus and I stood there giggling and observing that one side of the street was a club called FlipFlops and it was ALL white folks and directly across the street was us, the coloreds. Tell me that story again about how segregation is over.

While waiting for the folks that had reserved a couple of VIP lounges for this cadre of the fierce, a group of women rolled up about 15 deep along with two mountainous black dudes. Sis leans over to me and says, "There's Katt Williams."

I look around and I don't see him at first. Largely because he was shorter than all the girls around him. That man is a Negro Midget. He lived on the non-Technicolor side of the railroad tracks back in Munchkinland. I spotted him and gave him a shout out.

A minute later, this tall black dude with really ashy elbows comes up and asks me if it was, indeed, Katt Williams. Since we were standing all of 20 feet from the man, I said yes, and I nodded. Ashy Elbows makes a bee line for Katt, and I take that opportunity to snap a picture with my handy dandy iPhone camera, which I have posted here for your enjoyment.

Now, Kat was already lit up and feeling good. We could all see that from where I was standing. Then Ashy Elbows leans over and whispers, loud enough that we could hear, "Mr. Katt Williams, walk over here, I want to talk to you about something." He and Katt walk about ten feet away...I see the hand shuffle happen (if you have ever bought drugs on the street....you know what I am talking about), and then Kat took his entourage towards the club.

Next thing you know, Ashy Elbows pops up screaming at me, "I should give you $100, since you pointed Kat out to me...man he gave me $400 dollars! THANKS KAT! THAT MAN RIGHT THERE IS JESUS CHRIST! THANKS KATT! THAT'S THE MAN!"

Ashy Elbows was so cracked out I think he actually believed that Kat WAS Jesus Christ come back to Earth to score a hit.

The ladies and I had a giggle, said a quiet prayer that Cracky Ashy Elbows got home safely, and we went into the club.

Yes, the Lacys love to have some adventures.

RuPaul's Drag Race: Get it together!

To quote my best friend, Bebe Zahara Benet, the winner of the first season of RuPaul's Drag Race: GET IT TOGETHER!

I have been watching the third season of RuPaul's Drag Race, and while I think the caliber of the queen's improved over last year's dismal and largely untalented pool of talent (with a couple of notable exceptions), the unnecessary and community damaging drama of this year's season is really reaching the point where I am ready to walk away from the show.

Let me tell you why.

To begin with, the near violence on the show between the drag queens is really fucking out of control. In the first episode, when the two queens up for elimination had to lip synch for their life, I thought Phoenix's crazy ass was going to draw blood. RuPaul made it clear that her behavior was unacceptable....and then two episodes later Mimi Imfurst loses her fucking mind and PICKS India up and slings her over her shoulders.

Let me be clear. I know Mimi. We are acquaintances. I do not know her well, but she has been in my home, and I respect her drag artistry. I know that these shows are edited in a particular manner, and I don't believe she is as whiny and clueless as the show makes her out to be, but when she put her hands on another queen, I was done. It wasn't funny. It wasn't ok. And she deserved to be booted from the show. Love you girl, but that is the Lord's own damn truth. Don't put your hands on another person without their permission. You don't know what that person has lived through or what burdens they are carrying. As a survivor of intense physical assault, I promise you that I wouldn't have screamed when you picked me up, I would have put you in the motherfucking hospital and that is no damn joke. PTSD is nothing to play with.

Up until this current episode, I was LOVING on the South Asian Drag Queen Raja until she opened her mouth to talk shit about Stacey Lane, and, in particular, using Southphobic bullshit about listening to bullfrogs and sipping iced tea on the back porch. Let me be clear with you Raja you dumb heifer, if not for the radical, life threatening and courageous social justice work of SOUTHERN folks, PARTICULARLY queers and people of color, tranny South Asian half-assed drag queens wouldn't have a fucking chance in this world. LEARN SOMETHING before you open your fucked up mouth and start marginalizing people from rural and southern communities. How about that?

I HAVE HAD IT!

It is Black History Month. Hey Raja....do you know WHY we have Black History Month? Because MY great-Uncle Carter G. Woodson, FROM THE SOUTH, made it happen. Hey Raja, did you know that Stonewall only happened because BLACK SOUTHERNERS had shown the way? I am so fucking tired of folks from outside of the South perpetuating stereotypes of Southerners. I am from northern Minnesota. My Dad is from southern West Virginia. The most welcoming place, besides Minneapolis, I have ever lived is ASHEVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA! More friendly than New York, more friendly than the Bay area, but dumb bitches like Raja say shit on tv that reinforce and re-marginalize southerners that continue to lead us forward.

Hey stupid ass Raja....do you know about Southerners on New Ground (SONG?). Do you know about the Suzanne Pharr, and now Pam McMichael, both queer women to lead the HIGHLANDER CENTER in New Market, TN? Do you know anything besides how to tuck your tiny little dick into your ass with a little duct tape? I hope Stacey Lane shoves your ass in a Fry Daddy and eats you on stage.

I am pissed.

The South is going to rise again, but this time it is going to be queer people of color that rise up and claim their due and then beat the shit out of dumb fucks that run off at the mouth on national television.