Anyone that has grown up gay or been around gay men or have a gay friend or seen some bad 80s gay flick has heard the line, "So, which one of you is the women?" Usually spoken by some jackass of a straight man to a gay couple, and often times followed by a bashing of some sort.
Honestly, while I know that I have heard that question before, I believe the last time I heard someone ask that question, seriously, was sometime around 1996. In this post-Ellen, post-Will and Grace, Every-Show-Has-A-Gay-Sidekick era, I thought, maybe, perhaps, we'd at LEAST gotten far enough along that at LEAST any URBAN dwelling dumb-straight-man would know better.
Apparently not. Yesterday, there was a thread on my Facebook page that was started about an over the top hot Latino FedEx dude I passed on the street. As my Facebook page is wont to do, the topic quickly filled up with sexual innuendo (this time started by my boyfriend, ahem, Nicolas!). This kid with whom I attended high school, Jack, decides to chime in not really knowing what's going on. So I said, Jack, we are using gay sex innuendo.
Jack replies, "What happened to women?" And then he says, "So, which one of you is the woman, Brandon or Nicolas."
Did you hear that sound? Did you? It was the sound of the lock turning in the library door.
OPEN! READING IS FREE!
There were a couple of comments interspersed with his before I could get to chapter one, so I decided to make this a short story.
I said, "Jack, you should be lucky that I don't want women, because, frankly, I would take yours." And to his response asking which of us, Nico or I, happened to be the woman, I responded.
"Nico is all man. I am a man. If you are asking who is the bottom and who is top, why don't you come over and I'll show you. Make sure to be well lubed as I am not known for being gentle."
It was sometime after that when Jack de-friended me.
Child please.
Lets be clear for a minute, revisit some fundamentals, since we are reading, while I know some gay men that are in relationships with women....when two men that identify as men enter into a relationship with one another...neither of them is "the women." The connotation being which of you is submissive, passive, gives up power, submits, serves, etc....and not in the fierce S/M and B/D Leather Community empowered submission way but in that misogynist fucked up barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen sort of way.
Plus, I've said it once. I've said it twice. Bottoms have all the power. Lord knows I will do just about anything to get into some good booty. And an excellent bottom can get me to walk on water to get to that ass.
Though once I get a hold of said bottom.....it's ON!
There you have it, Jack. I am a man. I am fairly certain I outweigh and could drop you if necessary....and the next time you decide to show up in all your misogynistic, heterosexist, and homophobic glory in someone's life...please be sure 1) that they can't choke you out with little effort, 2) aren't fiercer than you are, and 3) don't have access to a blog with 60,000 readers a year and won't put you on blast.
The end.
PS An addendum I think power is shared, but I'm just saying a good bottom....will be worshiped...FILTER BRANDON FILTER!
Honestly, while I know that I have heard that question before, I believe the last time I heard someone ask that question, seriously, was sometime around 1996. In this post-Ellen, post-Will and Grace, Every-Show-Has-A-Gay-Sidekick era, I thought, maybe, perhaps, we'd at LEAST gotten far enough along that at LEAST any URBAN dwelling dumb-straight-man would know better.
Apparently not. Yesterday, there was a thread on my Facebook page that was started about an over the top hot Latino FedEx dude I passed on the street. As my Facebook page is wont to do, the topic quickly filled up with sexual innuendo (this time started by my boyfriend, ahem, Nicolas!). This kid with whom I attended high school, Jack, decides to chime in not really knowing what's going on. So I said, Jack, we are using gay sex innuendo.
Jack replies, "What happened to women?" And then he says, "So, which one of you is the woman, Brandon or Nicolas."
Did you hear that sound? Did you? It was the sound of the lock turning in the library door.
OPEN! READING IS FREE!
There were a couple of comments interspersed with his before I could get to chapter one, so I decided to make this a short story.
I said, "Jack, you should be lucky that I don't want women, because, frankly, I would take yours." And to his response asking which of us, Nico or I, happened to be the woman, I responded.
"Nico is all man. I am a man. If you are asking who is the bottom and who is top, why don't you come over and I'll show you. Make sure to be well lubed as I am not known for being gentle."
It was sometime after that when Jack de-friended me.
Child please.
Lets be clear for a minute, revisit some fundamentals, since we are reading, while I know some gay men that are in relationships with women....when two men that identify as men enter into a relationship with one another...neither of them is "the women." The connotation being which of you is submissive, passive, gives up power, submits, serves, etc....and not in the fierce S/M and B/D Leather Community empowered submission way but in that misogynist fucked up barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen sort of way.
Plus, I've said it once. I've said it twice. Bottoms have all the power. Lord knows I will do just about anything to get into some good booty. And an excellent bottom can get me to walk on water to get to that ass.
Though once I get a hold of said bottom.....it's ON!
There you have it, Jack. I am a man. I am fairly certain I outweigh and could drop you if necessary....and the next time you decide to show up in all your misogynistic, heterosexist, and homophobic glory in someone's life...please be sure 1) that they can't choke you out with little effort, 2) aren't fiercer than you are, and 3) don't have access to a blog with 60,000 readers a year and won't put you on blast.
The end.
PS An addendum I think power is shared, but I'm just saying a good bottom....will be worshiped...FILTER BRANDON FILTER!
