The Gospel According to St. Thomas Leavitt

I have a great friend by the name of Thomas Leavitt. I met Thomas when I served as the inaugural chair of the National Lavender Green Caucus of the Green Party of the United States. Thomas had already been involved with the Caucus for some time, and he served as an officer of the caucus as well. Over the years, Thomas has been a kind voice and loving supporter of my work. He is someone that I admire for his politics, his compassion, the way he moves through the world, and for the way that he cares for his family.

In my recent post Fading Hope or Reality Check?, I questioned the media spin on Obama's recent poll numbers, and, of course, spoke some damn truth about the Republican Party aka the GOP (Grand Old Party). My friend Thomas made a comment on the post that I thought was as true as gospel. I also thought it needed to be brought front and center. Thomas said:

"The Republican Party is good at just one thing: fucking things up, and they're doing their damndest to fuck up Obama's presidency. Fuck the truth: if it takes making people think Obama's an illegal alien secret Muslim communist Maoist fascist tool of the international Jewish-Communist crypto-conspiracy to lower his numbers, then that's what we'll tell him (never mind the self-contradictory nature of half the accusations). We'll put words in people's mouths that they never said."

And he ain't never told a damn lie. The GOP will spin sunshine into shit and shit into rainbows in order to reclaim power or keep justice from taking place. The Republican Party is quite literally watching their entire power structure crumble around them. For more than 20 years they watched their star ascendant, abused the power that they amassed, acted with complete license in their public and personal affairs, and when their self-serving policies, dismantling of the social safety net, and lies turned in on themselves, the party imploded (and continues to implode...see Governor Sanford, Governor Palin, and assorted philandering Senators and Congresspersons indicted on fraud and other abuse of office charges).

The GOP has not yet learned the lesson that if they ACTUALLY adhered to the basic philosophy of their party (small government, personal responsibility, low taxes, strong defense) and did not stray from those things, their message would resonate solidly with people. Please note, I think their core philosophy is soulless and lacks community responsibility, but I understand it. But, at least, if they stuck to that, it would lead to many less regressive decisions than those that they have made. And let's be clear. I don't believe that Cheney and half of those Republican Party actually are against queer marriage, hate black people, despise the poor, or are happy as a bug in a rug to send young people off to die in wars. What I do believe is that they have no problem with doing ANY of those things if the outcome is higher personal profits, greater politician gain, and more corporate earnings. It comes down to such a amoral hedonism that it makes me want to beat them with their Torahs and Bibles (cuz the Orthodox and Conservative Jews in elective office are just as regressive and heinous as the Conservative Christians). I truly believe that while Cheney was sending troops to die in Iraq he felt badly...but he wanted power and personal gain to such a point that he was willing to sit with and live with the guilt over sending folks to die in a senseless war.

The crime of ambivalence and choosing evil as an ok trade off for personal gain and privilege is more heinous to me than someone like Fred Phelps, who is a hideous excuse for a human being, but he honestly and truly believes the hate he spouts and the way of life he espouses. He isn't try to gain power, he is trying to save souls the way he believes they need to be saved. I can forgive him his idiocy while condemning him for the impact his idiocy has on the communities he targets. I can not forgive Cheney, Rove, Boehner and the rest that choose opportunism and expedience over the lives of the working class, queer folks, women, and children.

In the end, it is just as dear Thomas states, "Fuck the truth: if it takes making people think Obama's an illegal alien secret Muslim communist Maoist fascist tool of the international Jewish-Communist crypto-conspiracy to lower his numbers, then that's what we'll tell him (never mind the self-contradictory nature of half the accusations)."

I only hope that finally...FINALLY...America has grown hip to the social warfare and identity assassination politics of the GOP and the deep seated greed and megalomania that their lies are attempting to cover up.

Friendship

Friendships end.

That is a reality in life.

Some friendships end because of time and distance. Some end because of a conflict. Some folks just drift away from one another until the friendships, organically, dissolves. Other friendships are ended by conscious decision, while others simply fade away and bosom buddies, when next they meet, are near strangers.

In my life, I have rarely had a friendship end. That is, until the last couple of years.

One person, important to me, ended our friendship because of simply too much history. We saw each other through deaths, rehab, relationships, murders, work crises, HIV, and sexual assaults.

Another friendship was the victim of post-pardum depression. That loss was bitter and unexpected and an unfortunate side affect of a beautiful pregnancy. This was another person with whom I had shared much, in fact, we met when we were 13, and our friendship remained vibrant for almost 17 years.

The third friendship I lost because I didn't have the space to let this person into some of my life difficulties, and that created a situation where this individual felt that I had slammed the door in his face when he tried to reach out to me. I heartily disagree with this assessment, yet, that is the reason I was given, so it is the reason I accept.

And this last, is one that I conceptually, and fundamentally don't understand.

I decided to check in with a man that I believed was my friend regarding the state of our friendship. This person happens to be the partner of the third friend that chose to end our friendship. This is man that I, quite literally, love and respect and is, I believe, a model for how one can live ones life with honesty and integrity. So, when he told me that he didn't think we were friends because “we don't see each other and we don't share anything...at least recently”, I took what he said at face value.

But I don't understand it.

For me, friendship is,plainly put, a state of being when one person cares deeply for another, their well being, and, if called, shows up in a number of ways to support and build community with another person. Sometimes showing up means physically being present. Sometimes it means being an ear on the other end of a phone call. Sometimes it means responding to an email. And sometimes it means showing up spiritually, carrying a desire and prayer for peace and joy in an other's life, even when distance keeps you from showing that love and respect in person.

There are people in my life, that are not just friends, but family, that I have not seen in years. My best friend, and older brother, Jerry Jones, is someone that I haven't seen, physically, since January 2005. Time and economics haven't been on our side in terms of seeing one another. But, whenever I have picked up the phone, he has answered. We share a love for one another. And, if that is present, then there is friendship.

Over the years, I have added friends to my community that I hold dear. Having left Minneapolis, physically, I still carry with me the friendships of so many. Many of those folks were with me at a barbecue last week. I listened to their stories, and, though I am not with them on a regular basis, if any of them called and had a need, I would do what I could from where I am to fill it. That is friendship.

My truth is that should any of the four individuals in my life that have stepped away from the friendship that we have had, have a need, I would be there to fill it if I could. I have seen too much anger, abandonment, frustration, hurt, and pain in the world. I know how those things can intercept, interrupt, and intervene in love freely given. I have, indeed, let all of those things limit or eliminate my ability to be present for those for whom I care. I respect the choice of anyone to define the limits of their relationship with another, up to and including severing that relationship. But, that does not mean that I have to cauterize my feelings or no longer appreciate the friendship we have had and the memories we made together, whether they were last week or a decade ago.

Friendship should never be ephemeral, easily given, or readily taken away. It is too valuable. And in a time of great spiritual recession, those things of lasting value are that much more precious.