Matt Titone and Danny O'Donnell Do It Up in Albany

While I do not believe that Barack Obama should take up the mantle of Captain Queer Marriage Crusader, I absolutely applaud those men and women, on the ground, that are fighting for the right of queer folks to marry if they so choose. Now, many of the queer folk I know would rather drill holes in their skulls and squeeze the juice of live jellyfish into them than join the marriage train, but I don't know anyone in our community (from the radical faeries to the Log Cabin Republicans **barf**) that doesn't get their thongs in a twist when Christian (and Jewish) fundamentalists make the choice FOR us that we shouldn't be able to marry.

Like my Mama used to say, “Tell me that I can't do something and that is the first thing I am going to go right on out and do.”

This week the New York State Assembly voted 89-52 to pass same-sex marriage legislation. The Assembly passed a similar bill back in 2007, and this bill passed with the support of some assemblypersons that voted against the 2007 bill.


Speaking eloquently from the Assembly floor was openly gay Assemblyman Danny O'Donnell, the bill's sponsor(and brother of comedienne Rosie O'Donnell). When confronted by Republican Assemblyman Mike Fitzpatrick about the bill being a vehicle to force religious based civic organizations to accept queer marriage, Mr. O'Donnell replied, "This is not about anybody's religion," O'Donnell continued. "I am entitled to the same paper you have, Michael, whether you want me to or not."

Score one for Assemblyman O'Donnell, who, incidentally, totally flirted with me at the Dugout several weeks ago just after a softball practice. A politician has to work whatever angle they got going. I was flattered. Though we did differ over a recent performance of “And I Am Tellin' You,” where Jennifer Hudson brought Jennifer Holiday onto the stage and Jennifer Holiday lost her damn mind and oversang the song. Mr. O'Donnell didn't agree. We will work out the final resolution in committee.

But, the other hero of the morning was Staten Island (really...who lives there?) Assemblyman Matt Titone—openly gay and the 16 year partner of my friend and co-Rookie (my softball team) Josh Pugliese. Assemblyman Titone spoke passionately about the death of his Mother. As his Mother lay dying, and the family gathered to say their goodbyes, his partner, Josh, had extreme difficulty being with the family in the hospital because of the lack of legal standing of Mr. Titones and his long-term relationship. That, ladies and gentleman, is what I call pure and utter bullshit. Love, not a piece of paper, makes a family. Unfortunately, in America, pieces of paper have more value and importance than a commitment between two people of the same gender.

Mr. Titone shared how his love and his relationship was, on the Assembly floor, compared to bestiality, incest, and pedophilia and other morally bankrupt behavior. That Assemblyman that made the reference, Dov Hikind, an orthodox Jew, said it would take an act of God for him to vote for this legislation. Assemblyman Titone then made a point that every religious wignut in this world needs to eat, chew, swallow and digest: EVERY PERSON ON THIS PLANET IS A GIFT FROM GOD.

The next time a Bible, Torah, or K'oran toting hate monger vomits their self-loathing into a space where I am standing, I am going to snatch up their holy book and beat them in the face with it until they meet their God. And when they get to the other side, I hope He smacks the Hell out of him or her and sends them back to Earth with a clear understanding that the Abrahamic faiths, which command Love, are incompatible with hate. I also hope they wake up with a big old imprint of God's hand on their ass and SHUT THE HELL UP tatooed on their foreheads...oh yeah and missing their tongues.

It's not a hate crime if God does it.

Sorry...I took a turn onto Tangent Road and got off at the Pissed Off Exit. Breathe...1...2....3....

Ok....in the end the legislation passed with more support than it had in the past. With most of New England on the bandwagon, it is obvious that the Clam Chowder States are going to be chock full of married queers...it's just a matter of time (for New York and the rest of the country). The bill now goes to the Senate where passage is in question...so now is the time for you kiddies out there in the Empire State to put in those phone calls to your Senators. While it is hella strategic for Obama to keep his mouth shut on this issue...it is not helpful for you to do the same. Get off the couch, grab that iPhone and give your legislator a ring. I will even help you out, you can find your Senator's contact information right here.

(Some of the information in this article was garnered from an article from the Politicker)

(P.S. New York has four openly queer Assembly Members. In addition to Matt and Danny are Deborah Glick and openly bi-sexual member Micah Kellner).

L'Chaim!

About three years ago, I was living in Albuquerque and getting ready to make the transition back to Minneapolis. I had been an active board member of the Headwaters Foundation for Justice—a kick ass organization that funds cutting edge community organizing work in Minnesota and Wisconsin—before I left for New Mexico. So, in preparation for my return to Minnesota, I started kicking up my activity level with Headwaters again and flew home in March 2006 to participate in a strategic planning retreat.

On the night before the last day of the retreat, I had a dream. In my dream I was conversing with a rabbi in Hebrew. I was fairly certain that what I was speaking was in fact really Hebrew. Which is odd considering I know approximately two words in Hebrew that are not actually the names of High Holy Days or other Jewish festivals. Too much beyond shalom and l’chaim and you might as well be speaking Old Norse (which, incidentally, you can learn and earn a PhD in at the University of Minnesota…the only university in the nation to award a doctorate in that area).

The next morning, I was at the retreat, and the facilitators decided to close the day by asking folks to talk about something interesting that had happened the previous evening. So, when it got to me, I shared the story about my dream.

We closed out the circle and the meeting officially ended. No sooner had the last thank you been said than the four or five Jews in the room made a direct beeline for me. One woman, who I completely adore (Barb Weiner), told me a story about her Father, who, as he was in the hospital dying, spoke to his family in Hebrew…a language he had never learned. Another woman told a similar story…and they all agreed that I must have Jewish ancestry (which I do) and that I was probably making a connection with a former life or an ancestor.

At the time I had also been considering a conversion to Judaism. Judaic philosophy, specifically tikkun olam—or the directive to all Jews to heal the world of its wounds and ills—is something that resonates deeply with me. My Jewish Mother, mentor, and friend Beth Zemsky approached me that day and asked me if I was still considering conversion. For the last three years, I have been in perfect balance between my love of Jesus and his teachings and the understanding that of all the world’s religions…Judaism is the one that resonates most closely with my personal life philosophy.

So I have been going to Buddhist chanting (gongyo)…that seemed like a happy middle ground. I can keep Jesus and still incorporate a more social justice focused philosophy of being as evinced by Nichiren Buddhism.

Of course just as I get comfortable with where I am at with my faith...I have another damn dream.

This time, I found myself at a Shabbat celebration. The cantor was singing in Hebrew and the congregants were reciting the Shema. Again, I am absolutely convinced that, in my dream, the Shema that was being recited was, in fact, the Shema. The difference in this dream was that I was a Jew who didn’t understand Hebrew and could not recite the Shema.

Talk about being rejected.

The other Jews around me in my dream were smiling encouragingly. When I finally couldn’t take it and bolted for the temple door, folks eagerly encouraged me to come back. Everyone I met on the street was wearing a yarmulke…the men’s were black and the women’s where white (I have no idea the significance of this other than I believe in my dream I thought that the women wearing white yarmulkes were married—which is consistent with conservative Catholic women that wear white veils in church if they are married and black if they are widowed).

I believe in signs, portents, spirits and that God speaks directly to each person all the time. But, if he is trying to tell me something…I wish he would send me a note or something. Maybe a letter or a post card…but sending me dreams in Hebrew is just plain crazy making.

In the end, I am not sure how to take the dream or what the spirits and my subconscious are trying to tell me. Perhaps it was another past life flashback or maybe it was a foretelling of what is to come. If only there were a way to reconcile my love of Jesus, my love of Judaism, and my new found respect for Nichiren Buddhism without resorting to creating a new faith or becoming B’hai. I am denominationally schizophrenic enough—having grown up Lutheran, Baptist, and Catholic—adding an entire other faith path to the mix outside of the Judeo-Christian tradition is more than I can take. What a shtunk!

(P.S. I grew up with that picture of black Jesus on the wall of our house alongside the traditional picture of white Jesus. I used to feel badly because I thought black Jesus was hot...I would totally do him!)