Dorothy, We Ain't In Minneapolis Anymore!

So...there is a man at my gym I call “Hot Daddy.” He is about 6', well built, anti-gravity bubble booty, tanned, with a schlong that he could probably have classified as a weapon. And he's real pretty in the face.

Well, David and I had bumped into Hot Daddy in the past. On more than one occasion I caught him staring at David...like...bore a hole through your head sort of staring. If one of those red dots had shown up square on David's ass...like from the laser sight of an assault rifle...I would not have been surprised.

Now...I have been known...in my day...to be a little jealous. That jealousy goes up a notch when it involves someone I think is hot but doesn't give me the time of day. That's called Bruised Ego Jealousy Syndrome (BEJeesus Syndrome for short).

The last time we saw Hot Daddy, he had just come out of the steam room where it was obvious that his Johnson had been doing some steaming of its own. He walked past me, put his hand on David's waist, and moved him aside....but in a very sensual/possessive way (I AM NOT PROJECTING! Maybe a little)....basically....I wanted to gnaw off his arm that go around.

I have grown since that incident.

Today we saw Hot Daddy. And he, again, did the Cyclops eye laser deal wherever David managed to be. It was matched in hilarity only by my one time steam room jack off adventure buddy who got so excited that he couldn't finish the job and was basically shaking from excitement. Needless to say, David and I were both totally amused. Later on, after David and I had finished exercising, we hit the locker room for shower time, and Mr. Excitement was getting dressed behind us, and when I stripped, he got a full on woody. I was totally flattered ;-)

When we excited the shower...Hot Daddy was there talking to an older gentleman. David and I got dressed, and I was giggling and told David that as long as he let me watch video from a hook up between him and Hot Daddy, I would be cool. Then, Hot Daddy walks by and speaks!

“What's up guys?” He says...as he passes.

“Hey there.” I said.

And then I about jumped straight on top of the nearest locker as Hot Daddy runs his finger up my ass crack through my shorts as he walks by.

I can count the number of times in my life that I have been literally speechless. I felt my ears turn bright red, my eyes were so wide that any passing lemur would have mistaken me for one of its own kind, and I told David what happened. David, being Mister Cool, giggled. I didn't know whether to be angry or flattered...I was fighting a hard on and wanting to punch him in the face. David was tickled. MEN!

Now don't get me wrong. In a night club, I have been groped many a time...in the Midwest...we know that the gym is for cruising but touching is for the steamroom ;-). Good Midwestern boys don't just run their finger up other boys butts in the locker room...especially not in front of their boyfriends. We are good boys and do it on the sly. I am definitely not in Minneapolis anymore.

In the end I was flattered. I looked at my hottie man, and was thankful again for our relationship and the way we communicate. I also offered up a silent prayer that one day I would get to be the meat in a sex sandwhich between Hot Daddy and my hotter man. Thank you Jesus!

It's All About Me Damn It!

I got this from one of my readers today. I thought it was hilarious. Thanks for passing it along my friend!

BETTER THAN YOU

This is an official
notice to decree that the
bearer of this item
is indeed better than you
in every respect of everything,
this includes intellect,
personality, social status,
number of loyal friends
and the ability to destroy
your life if they feel the need.
You have been privledged
to read this as you’ve spent
a prolonged amount of time
in the bearer’s presence.
you should now leave.

It is
all about
me
Damn You!

People of Color Weather Forecast

This morning, my co-worker and I are up hella early at our retreat condos in Guernville, CA right on the Russian River. I got a Tweet this morning from my girl Amalia back home saying it is -20 degrees air temperature in Minnesota right now. Now, I don't think most folks that are not either from Antartica or Minnesota really understand what it means when the air is that cold. Add to that the windchill and the air temperature, currently, feels to be -33 degrees.

Carlo and I were talking about what a People of Color weather broadcast would sound like, here is the transcript...

"Listen here ya'll. It is -20 degrees outside today. If your ass is not pearly white. I mean nigh on albino. Keep your simple ass in the house. You ain't biologically designed for this shit. Go on outside if you have too, but know that the wind is waiting on your ass and is going to snatch off your skin down to the meaty bones. White folks, by all means, go outside and make you some snow angels, build you an ice fortress, cut a hole in the lake and go skinny dipping and shit. If you are Italian, Spanish, or Greek, please get you a piece of unlined printer paper...if you are darker than that, please refer to the instructions above. Thank you."