Today is the day. I pick up my prescription for HIV meds. And tonight at dinner, I will take my first pill.
I have a great day planned. Brunch with Sohail, and then the Metro North to Yonkers to hang out with Peter.
With dinner, because Complera requires a meal of at least 400 calories, I will take my first pill.
This week, I received much love and support from folks I know and peeps I don't. I received an email to which I still need to respond from someone named Patrick. Patrick said, truthfully, the gift of a non-progressor is really that sometimes we can go for a week or two and not really think about being positive. For ten years, I got to do that. It was a gift....even if it was, sometimes, a lie. (Thank you, Patrick, for your sweet note.)
Until today, Patrick was right. After today. Each night at dinner time, there will be a tiny reminder of the disease with which I live. A little squatter that keeps ignoring my eviction notices.
I am gonna be alright. Actually, I am alright. Actually my life is pretty damn amazing. But I get to be a little bit sad today.
I'm not going to lie. Even when I lie to myself, I try to never lie to you all, my readers. Today, is a day I will never forget. Some people that live with HIV can tell you the day, time, and location that they received their diagnosis. I know where. I know the year, and I have a vague recollection of the month.
I will never forgot today. June 9, 2012.
I have a great day planned. Brunch with Sohail, and then the Metro North to Yonkers to hang out with Peter.
With dinner, because Complera requires a meal of at least 400 calories, I will take my first pill.
This week, I received much love and support from folks I know and peeps I don't. I received an email to which I still need to respond from someone named Patrick. Patrick said, truthfully, the gift of a non-progressor is really that sometimes we can go for a week or two and not really think about being positive. For ten years, I got to do that. It was a gift....even if it was, sometimes, a lie. (Thank you, Patrick, for your sweet note.)
Until today, Patrick was right. After today. Each night at dinner time, there will be a tiny reminder of the disease with which I live. A little squatter that keeps ignoring my eviction notices.
I am gonna be alright. Actually, I am alright. Actually my life is pretty damn amazing. But I get to be a little bit sad today.
I'm not going to lie. Even when I lie to myself, I try to never lie to you all, my readers. Today, is a day I will never forget. Some people that live with HIV can tell you the day, time, and location that they received their diagnosis. I know where. I know the year, and I have a vague recollection of the month.
I will never forgot today. June 9, 2012.
I love you, Brandon.
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing. You are inspirational. I first read your blog on thebody.com and what you have to say hits close to home for me. I was born with hiv and living in the world of intersectionality (black-womyn-queer). Anywhoo, I love reading your blog posts/fb status because your truth inspires me to be honest one day to the people i care about in my life and its great to read your stuff. You are like one of my heros/authors/super fierce people and poet out there. You are not alone in the struggle there are more of us out there who are struggling to find there voice and you would help them find it like what you have done for me by writing and sharing stay strong keeep moving fowaard ;)
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