Sunday, November 9, 2008
On Being Strong
I have been missing David pretty fiercely lately. As I have explained it to anyone that will listen is that when I was a kid I never cried because I missed my Mom. I wasn't the kid who cried when he went away to camp. I embraced life's adventures. I loved going places and seeing the world...even if I were just going up the street. I rarely looked back, because I knew, without a doubt, that home was always behind me and I could turn around when I needed to and go back there for healing or sustenance.
I cried when the bus pulled away from Port Authority last Monday.
I cried on Friday afternoon for no other reason than I was missing David. My life is wonderful right now. I have food to eat. I am moving into a new beautiful house next week. I have a beautiful and loving boyfriend. My job is pretty cool. I have made some great new friends here in the Bay. My heart feels extremely full. And, at times, it feels as if my heart is breaking from abundance. Writing this, I feel as if I am being truly ridiculous and childish. Woe is me that I have someone that loves me, that wants to be with me, that sees me and loves the hell out of me.
The truth is that this, again, is all new territory. Hallelujah that I love someone enough that I cry because they are not here. Hallelujah that the roughest thing going on in my life right now is that I can't find my house key in my dirty ass bedroom and that my man is far far away and I can't see him as much or as often as I would like.
Woe is me. Right?