Assassination?

So this morning, I was putting myself through the quasi-torture of a new exercise machine at the gym. It is a stair climber and eliptical machine combined. For those of you that have seen the Dark Crystal (or committed it to memory as have I), then to give you a proper mental imagine, the machine looks like a land strider aka the giant bunnies with stilt legs. As I watching the news while dreaming of riding across the land to find the shard, I noticed that the Colorado police had picked up a white dude that had a car full of guns, drugs, and a bullet proof vest. He was cute until he opened his mouth, when I noticed the nasty teeth and the even nastier shit flying off his tongue.

As to be expected he and his friend Adolph (enough said) had decided to kill Barack Obama because, well, nigras ain't supposed to be in public office.

Now...please...white people...if you want to be taken seriously please do not send country ass white folks that barely speak English with shot guns and drugs to kill the future President. Lord please do not send anyone named Adolph, as that is just so stereotypical that should you have been successful, you would still have lost in the court of public opinion as even most white supremacists know enough not to use the name Adolph publicly. And please, oh please, make sure that whoever you send in the future has a full set of teeth, has had some sort of media training, and is wearing something other than an AC/DC or White Snake t-shirt.

Swastika tatoos are also verboten for the same reasons as anyone named Adolph. For more on Adolph, please see the above paragraph.

In the end, even though the folks that were going to make an attempt on Senator Obama's life were laughable, I was still irate. For about five minutes I was so angry that I burned an additional 200 calories on the Land Strider. The fact that these ignorant bastards still received national airtime for their hate speech, makes me want to remind the press that along with their freedom to report comes a responsibility to not spread hate and injustice. But justice rarely sells ads.