Thursday, September 27, 2012

Moving Forward?

Yesterday, I resigned from QEJ. QEJ is a vital part of the queer movement, and I know that it will continue to do great work as it struggles through this particular moment. I believe that the leadership of the board is strong and holds a strong vision and is comprised of some truly amazing people. Much love and luck to you. The choice was best for me and for QEJ, and I am looking forward to figuring out the next steps in my life path including reconstituting my life to focus on maintaining a healthy mind, healthy body, healthy spirit and healthy heart.

After this Summer and all that it has conjured, good and ill, my coping mechanisms are frayed, and it is time to seriously refocus on what is really important and to put my feet to walking towards, and quickly, the things that will help me hold in place the lessons from the last few months while not allowing them to be greater or smaller than they need to be.

It's time to get off the roller coaster.

There are the personal issues that I need to address and keep under control. I won't rehash them all here, as I have done so in numerous blogs over the last several years.

But here are the broad outlines:

1) Recommit to doing something every day related to self-esteem, addiction, and other mental health factors that have a nasty way of finding new ways of popping up when you least want them.  Even if it is pulling a Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and Phoning a Friend.

2) Gym. Enough said.

3) Meditation. With ADHD, this is going to be a slow development.

4) My relationship. Nico is coming home in a couple of weeks, and a lot has happened since he left, on both of our sides, reconnecting will be important, and I am deeply looking forward to that. Two months is a hell of a damn long time to be away from your boyfriend. With time differences, two different schedules, life moments, developing world technology reliability, and no ability to interact besides sound and occasionally sight, and the distance starts to feel like it is across the galaxy instead of across an ocean.

5) Maintain physical health, particularly related to HIV medication and mental health medication. As this transition unfolds, it will be important to make sure that these things are not casualties of finances or lack of structure. Time to revisit the good folks at ADAP.

6) Last but so not least, visioning clearly the work that I want to be doing as my job and the work I want to be doing as a volunteer or engaged in another way. It's time to do good work AND have financial stability.  And centering my writing as core component of my daily work.

I am reaching out and asking folks for support in each of these areas. I want to make the best possible choices and that means tapping the brilliance (and straightforwardness) of my community.

There are no coincidences in life. None at all.


  1. I hear you. And want to support you from far away. So count on some sister-spirit love & encouragement coming your way...

  2. Just as there no coincidences, there are no words spoken to empty audiences. I have heard and felt your wisdom through this post and hope that I can be of some assistance in the near future. You're touching and teaching me from miles away papi. I'm excited to be a part of your life, and you a part of mine, in these increasingly dynamic chapters of our lives. Call your son, he's reflecting you well ;p


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