Tuesday, July 20, 2010

POETRY: Sometimes a Cell Phone is Heavier than a Gun

Sometimes a Cell Phone is Heavier than a Gun

Sometimes a cell phone is heavier than a gun
in the hand of a friend/an ex-lover
Staring down life’s barrel
He pulled the trigger
And put a bullet hole in our lives

For 36 hours the wound has been bleeding
Long after his blood dried to the walls and the floor
It comes in spurts from the corners of my eyes
It leaves see through trails on my skin
As I flip through condolences on Yahoo and Facebook
My face books a trip that my heart can’t take
It comes and goes in .22 caliber rounds
One moment laughter memories
that suddenly turn into the rat-tat-tat-tat of a 1930s gangster scene
a mad mobster from the Depression Era
turned on him
placed a hit on his spirit
and blew us all away

I got the phone call on the way to the video store
but this wasn’t a movie
I kept waiting for the punch line
I thought he was joking
I thought he was joking
I THOUGHT HE WAS JOKING
until the sky ripped open

I wonder if the shock I felt was the same feeling
Chris had when he first pulled the trigger
In that moment before Death came to collect his due
did he have time to feel the world pause
as he disconnected from this reality
did he have time to see himself lying there
did he try to take it back
j/k
j/k
j/k
I didn’t mean it.

-Brandon Lacy Campos
-New York, NY
-July 20, 2010

6 comments:

  1. Brandon, thank you for sharing your feelings. This is so hard and there is no way to make sense of it. Just appreciate your honesty. I lost my cousin to suicide in June and I still can't begin to understand why.

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  2. take a break from your thoughts/feelings and come out to watch a movie with me

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  3. Brandon, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your poetry, even in the face of death, despair, and uglyiness, is beautiful, a tremendous outlet. I'll pray for peace for you and everyone connected with Chris.

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  4. Thank you all. Lily, check your Facebook page. Ben, I appreciate your words and the prayers. Peace Seeker, I hope you are able to make peace with your loss, and I am sorry to hear of it. Prayers and love to you.

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  5. So very sad Brandon! Hugs!!!!!!!! Let me know if you need anything.

    XX
    Sage

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  6. This is astonishing. Simply amazing work.

    I don't even know the whole story and I feel like my heart has been dragged down an alley and thrown in the gutter.

    My heart and soul with you, angel.

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings, and insights. And thank you for reading!