Sunday, March 27, 2011

One Liner of the Week Award: Sweetie

Like most queer homosexual gays of my generation, I saw "Too Wong Foo," in the theater. The opening of that movie, from Salt-n-Pepa's Body Beautiful to the drag pageant, was perhaps the best opening of any movie ever. EVER! Don't argue with me.

I can remember distinctly when the busty drag queen MC walks on stage in her tiny hat and says, "HELLO HELLO HELLLO!" Never in my gayest dreams did I ever imagine that one day I would not only meet her but also give her the One Liner of the Week Award.

Here's the story.

Last night, David, Vinnie, and I headed down to the Times Square Comedy Club to see our friend Chad Pace aka Divine Grace in a drag queen lip synching game show audience interactive play:"The Ultimate Drag Off." From the beginning, the super campy show was awesome. As folks were being seated, a cheap Russian whore aka Sweetie's daughter, made her rounds from table to table telling us to to "wote" aka vote in each round. She was also the only biological girl in the show.

As the show swung into full effect, Sweetie took the stage as the game show host. She was fantastic. She worked the crowd like a true performer, and her comedy was on!

At one point, she was talking about Jennifer Hudson, and then said something in drag queen Spanglish, which is a little known dialect of Old Homo, when she spotted me in the front row and said to me, "That was for our Latin brother, ummmm, or Asian, ummm...or whatever bastardized mix you happen to be."

And that, ladies and ball tuckers is the One Liner of the Week Award.

I later forgive her for her light dash of racism when she said that I was hot and looked like Michael Yeoh from E! TV...if, that is, he would come out of the closet.

Do yourself a favor, if you are in NYC, go and see "The Ultimate Drag Off," tell Sweetie that Michael Yeoh's gay cousin sent you.

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